Worst Celebrity App: Steven Tyler AppSoLewdly
It's hard to believe that Aerosmith once epitomized the spirit of rock and roll. Gritty, vital records like Toys in the Attic and Rocks established the band as America's answer to the Rolling Stones, complete with its own Mick Jagger: Swaggering, serpentine frontman Steven Tyler. Then the Eighties came around: Aerosmith cleaned up its act, lost its creative fire and produced some of the most depressingly banal hits of the era, eventually culminating in 1998's skin-crawling power ballad "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing," the love theme from the Hollywood blockbuster Armageddon.
Aerosmith's long, steady decline from rock to schlock culminated when Tyler signed on as a talent judge for the television reality franchise American Idol--even bandmate Joe Perry mocked the move, calling the glorified karaoke contest "one step above [Teenage Mutant] Ninja Turtles." Then there's Steven Tyler AppSoLewdly, still another chapter in the singer's inevitable trajectory to center-square status on a future remake of Hollywood Squares. Touted as "an intimate journey in the daily and deeply personal adventures of the Demon of Screamin' himself," AppSoLewdly is so squeaky-clean it's rated 9+ for "infrequent/mild profanity." This official app is also as dull and predictable as the hordes of unauthorized celeb applications cluttering the App Store. Video clips? Check. Photos? Check. Trivia? Of course. Soundboard complete with lame 'Tylerisms'? You know it.
AppSoLewdly only proves what a caricature Tyler has become--what he believes is outrageously wild is embarrassingly mild. If nothing else, it's appropriate that Tyler has extended his shtick to the iPhone: After all, the guy's been phoning it in for years.
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- Worst Celebrity App: Steven Tyler AppSoLewdly